so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
