She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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