Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
