idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
