Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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