Its about making memories worth repressing
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
