i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
