you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
