dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Your cock deserves a montage
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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