I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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