What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
farters have to be the big spoon...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
