so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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