he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
