Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
