i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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