Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
