I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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