I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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