She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
