onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
zippers are such a cool invention
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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