This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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