Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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