I just threw up on my dentist
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
