oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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