I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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