the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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