I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
