My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
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