i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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