I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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