After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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