My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
