I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
