Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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