think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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