We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
