I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
