Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
