Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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