i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
