that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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