im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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