There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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