were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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