Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
