theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
