i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Please don't give away my fajitas
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
