Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize