what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
