I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
