What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
