So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize