you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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