were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
