OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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