Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
