In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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