Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
