she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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