i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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