Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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