I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
