why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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